the answer

In the fake gypsy tentthe old woman says: Ask.
Concentrate on your question while I
shuffle the cardsrub the crystal ballstir the tea leaves.
One time I would have killed a pigeon
and read the entrails—health regulations, you know.
But I don't want to be given answers,I want to find them.
I want to walk a thousand miles to find a spring in the desert.
I want to dive into the maelstrom to bring up a pearl.
I want to climb into the osprey's nest atop the tower
that hums with secret cell-phone messages
to find the magic ring in the belly of the Salmon of Wisdom
who was captured while climbing the fish ladder
at Bonneville Damto escape hungry sea lions.
I want to search the heart of a live volcano
for a single giant crystalof dark-
olive as hard as a diamond and cradled in strands of gold glass.
I won't ask you for an answer.
Just point me a directionand I'll go.

somebody reminded me few hours ago that beggars cannot be choosers;
you tell me now that there is nothing,absolutely nothing completely unselfish about me;
and she told me that i am a disbelieving believer
i told that i wont poefuse again!

lets get something wrong for chrissake.......................


the fountains are hushed
and the quietened lover's face rests
upon the cool marble stone

a hastily gathered bouquet
of lilacs, roses and forget-me-nots
lay abandoned

three months inside an unspeakable
love, feed with kissed faces, gentle
hugs and eyes naked with need

she did not know how to bury
a heart, how to free oneself from
someone capable of erasing the
inherent terror

a lover ribboning pieces torn
from both our flesh giving birth to
butterflies, a lover who kissed the

worst parts of my soul and found
them to be unflawed gems,
worthy to be cherished

i've been neglecting this place even before properly starting off. :( :( not my fault though-time is at a premium; n the bloody important things not yet being sorted out..all with late nights,early days,peer pressure at workplace has reached a new high-how i wish i was back home now,n on top of that my connection's horribly slow too..hope everything gets sorted out quickly,cuz if it doesn't i'll quit.again :) which i do not wanna do..pray for me do.hope to get regular soon.

yayyyy

yesterday was probably the finest day of my life so far...the sun shone brighter,the stars dazzled brighter and when it rained,the touch of the water was like so purifying..as if it heralded a new era-as if it was sweeping away all the dreary moments,at the same time restoring the magical ones albeit a little altered;the past WAS...now will be different,it will be spectacular n yes,fuck the world-we will be spellbound. i promise.

shleepleshhhhhh

dhurr bhallagena!!!i cannot sleep at proper times these days...when i do sleep,frighteningly funny dreams interrupt them n i wake up with a start still guffawing!sleeping pills ain't be of any help at all....a little earlier ghatothkachh was winking n throwing flying kisses at me,n suddenly got frighteningly close n seemed to be kissing me :) it turned out that he was kissing a baby-elephant's butt..see these be driving me nuts;but he's cute alright!but gawwd please get me a remedy,i'm freaking out :((

i am faced with a strange dilemma...the only problem is the answer to both the ways are known to me and they lead to one n the same end result;however the only problematic part is the key to reveal the answer which remains hidden somewhere very close,playing cat-n-mouse with me...i expect the issue to be resolved soon though- so i'm happy happy.
it's funny how a single truth or may be a person can be the source of all your problems as well as all your solutions,without you not quite realising it.bleh!watever.so long!

....is all urs

i reside in the 5th heaven today...i wonder how a few syllables can literally push one up there, where one has a hollow feeling in his stomach,heart(if there)is sinking amidst an unglorious,subdued celebration yet pining for a miracle to happen-i laugh at you(as i can't with you..) even as i vow not to pity myself as the brilliant flash of indifference engulfs me, comforting me-telling me that the world still will go round tomorrow,n that 7th heaven would be mine someday...the wind whispers words of encouragement even as the 8-month old cousin chuckles out,as though ridiculing his broke elder; n then arrives the angel the sheer presence of whom inspires a plethora of happy memories n more never-to-be dreams..she drags me to the 6th heaven,as if to make amends but a few moments later,dissapointed as ever she bids goodbye n flies away to an unknown land where i could never set foot,which i could never conquer..n quite like an anticlimax i descend to the 2nd heaven,fearless,hopeful of recovery but no longer of a miracle i reminisce the numerous moments worth recollecting..i look heavenwards n beesech Him, 'O lord can i too grow wings-can i please fly too?'

this is not a piece of a drama.

BLEH :(

T ew 4 access...given the basu's mood what comes through is only this;wish i can cook up something better later..so long.


The knife’s edge looks to belong,
Longs to be a part of you.
Did you know that every glimpse of you,
Draws me closer to my destiny?
Every moment of the way,
From the staircase to the dusty bylane,
Is a splinter.
As you walk up to me,
The knife twirls in my grip,
Why don’t you notice me, even look at me?

Every sunset is a splash of red.
See, this in my hand,
Is a sunset brilliant red.
I have it in my fist,
Turning like the plastic globe,
Hold on to it like a drowning man to his last breath,
This is it, this is it.
This is the color of your lips, the wind against your hair,
This is every throbbing of your heart,
Every gasp of air you breathe,
And this is the clear cloudless sky,
Of your distant, intangible eyes.
See how the knife's blade sways with the wind.
This is it, this is it.

Do you feel it now?
Look at me, does the knife edge,
Seek every drop of your attention?
The faceless people stare blankly at you,
They drift with the wind like sail boats.
This is I. Rooted to this pit.
Recognize me, this is my face,
And this is my poignant gaze.
These are my cruel eyes,
Dark clouds in disguise.
These are my scars screaming, aching,
Every sinew boiling, brimming,
Clutching, Scratching.
Sinking.
I swear by the edge of this knife,
The earth will open up and all its fire,
Will burn you, like it has burnt me,
Hold on to me, this is it,
For you and me.

this is an important lesson

this guy's been pesting me to start a new blog of mine for a millenium. toh i take off here, giving a damn if neone reads this damn thing or not...if this has got to be anything of the nature of a diary there will be loads of crap talk n all-but as i'm starting off it would better be on a good note,hence the poem(think it is) which was written about a year n a half back i think! :) doesn't please me much though....i guess this'll be a stressbuster,we'll see.

Not all silences are peaceful
Not every solitude is calm
Not every clinched fist holds a secret
Sometimes, it's only an empty palm.
The enigma of some smiles is but a hidden night
The spark of some eyes but a hidden tear
Not every tragedy is a perfect ruin
Sometimes, it's only an empty fear...


which u daren't overtake! hunh :(